by lader11

I have never felt I work well with children. Feelings of anxiousness overwhelm me. What do I say? How do I act? What if they don’t like me? What if I make them cry?

I find myself nervously grinning with my arms awkwardly crossed along my chest as the resident children at  the Queen Elizabeth youth shelter flow down the hall into the common area in which I stand. They laugh and shout as they run towards familiar faces. The volunteers I arrived with go straight to work. Their interactions seem flawless and natural. Embraces. Holding hands. I fade into the background as this flurry of wonderful human interaction unfolds around me. I become an observer. A wallflower, stuck on the fringe.

From across the hall I notice a young boy in an orange t-shirt, laughing and smiling in my direction as he jumps in and out of view from an adjacent room. Is he looking at me? I slowly shift to the right, out of view, then suddenly pop my head around the corner in the boy’s direction. He jumps and laughs. Again and again I pop my head around the corner, watching as the boy nears closer, laughing all the way. He reaches towards me, wrapping his arms around my left arm, smiling up at me. His happiness is unadulterated and genuine. I place an awkward hand on his back. “What’s your name?”. “Kelvin”. “Nice to meet you Kelvin!”. A shelter worker comes up to us and suggests that I take Kelvin to pick out a book in the reading room.

I feel my nervous energy melt away as Kelvin begins reading the first few pages of “Danny and the Dinosaur”. His enthusiasm and happiness is infectious, and I begin to relax, to live in the moment. After reading we make our way outside. The falling sun sits low on the horizon, highlighting the jagged contours of the luscious green peaks in the middle distance. A group of children surround me, using me as a shield as they play tag. Kelvin comes running up to me. “Give me a Jackie!”. “What’s a Jackie?”. “When I go on your back!”. “Oh, you mean a Piggy Back”. There I go, hopping and twirling with Kelvin on my back, both of us laughing and smiling. I let him down and quickly scoop up another boy on my back to run again. I feel myself shift from a passive observer to an active contributor. A group of children surround me again. “Want to see something really cool?”. “Yeah!”. I take off my backpack to show the children its built-in rain cover that unfolds from a lower pocket. I ask if the children would like to try my backpack on. There was never a straight face as they wobbled unsteadily under the weight of the disproportionate backpack draped ’round their shoulders.

It’s time to leave. My interactions with the children seem flawless and natural. Embraces. Pats on the back. “See you next week Mr. Landy!”, one of the boys shouts. I wave goodbye. I can’t wait to return.

Kelvin and I admiring the rain shower – Photo by James Forester